Disclaimer: This happened a bit more than a month ago, I'm not from the US or another English speaking country so this is ESL and may have grammar or syntax errors, sorry in advance, I'm making this on a basically new account because I don't want to be known was the guy who's dad died while he was playing Fortnite, sorry for that.

It was the very first days of June which means the Star Wars season was coming to an end, I hadn't had the time to "properly play" for a bit so hadn't gotten the season's umbrella or explored the map fully, I hadn't even managed to have funny interactions with Darth Vader as some clips I had seen online of other people so I decided to hop on and play, I spent something like 2 hours, possibly more (don't really remember) playing, doing silly things, and getting sent back to the lobby over and over, I finally had a "good match" where I felt confident even if my loadout wasn't the best until mom called for me (scream but not in a scared kind of scream, more like a stern order), as I felt serious (mom had never done that) I immediately left my controller and went to ask what happened, my dad was sitting on the floor, mom told me that dad had fallen and was unable to stand up, dad looked at me with a concerned or scared face, I honestly don't even remember if he told me anything at all or said any kind of word to somebody.

Mom and me decided to try helping him standing up by taking hold of each arm and trying to pull him up, he was heavy and his feet just slid back so we were back at him sitting on the floor, I remember we got a step stool (not sure if correct term, a tiny 10 inch high seat with no back rest or anything) so went to grab it, we pulled him and tried to sit him on it (my idea was to have a tiny amount of height so pulling him would be easier or something), after getting him on this step stool he started making noises like he wanted to vomit so mom told me to get him off it and lay him on his said, she grabbed a bucket and told me to help him vomit on it while she called for an ambulance.

911 dispatch (again not in the USA) asked a lot of random useless things which mom answered (and again requested for an ambulance), after agonizing minutes we heard an emergency vehicle siren so mom told me to go open the door and let the paramedics in, unfortunately what arrived was a police car, the policewoman said that dispatch had notified of a home disturbance and was coming to see what was happening, I asked the policewoman to follow me and told her what happened and she could see by herself, the police officer started radioing back requesting for an ambulance as she could see things were really bad, I don't know when but blood was starting to come out apparently from one of my dad's ears, the officer started talking to dispatch and asking me for details, address, name of the patient, my name, relationship, detailing what happened, etc., I'm not sure if that was needed or she was just trying to keep me distracted.

Eventually an ambulance arrived and took my dad to the hospital, as I was left alone I just locked the house and went to grab a Taxi to get to the hospital (mom told me the hospital they were going to), at the hospital mom told the ER staff what happened and mentioned the blood coming out of his ear so ER staff immediately called for the Neurosurgeon on watch, unfortunately we got no updates from that, mom started pestering about what did the Neurosurgeon said but they said he hadn't come yet and told her to "not worry, we will call for him again" (and they did).

Anyway, the Neurosurgeon (or I believe the next shift Neurosurgeon) finally checked on my dad about 9 hours later, he said he had a brain hemorrhage in one side of the brain and it would have permanent incapacitating effects but couldn't say exactly which, that in theory surgery could help but it was way too late (no surprise, 9 hours after he arrived at the hospital...) and he simply was unwilling to do something like that, to just wait and see but to "not worry as he's stable", anyway my dad got progressively worse, eventually after checking on him again many hours later the neurologist (or neurosurgeon, I'm not sure which, I wasn't in the room as the policies don't allow it) said the blood was invading the other side of his brain, eventually my dad had a cardiac episode and passed away.

Anyway, this hurt in many different ways, I couldn't get to pass the last father's day with him, I couldn't get to give him the stuff I had bought for father's day (which were cheap and meaningless in the grand scheme of things but still) and what hurt me the most, I lost my father 12 days before my Birthday, I have felt empty ever since, I have felt angry, I have felt remorseful (I honestly don't know if the step stool idea made things worse and the last ever conversation I had with my dad was a few hours earlier when I rejected his invitation to watch a show he was watching as I didn't like the characters... I didn't say I love you, I didn't say anything important, I just told him I didn't like that show and left).

I haven't played Fortnite ever since and this is not a post blaming the game, I just don't have the energy to do so (I even miss playing Fortnite to be honest).

The reason I decided to make this post is because last friday mom called me downstairs, mail had arrived and there was a big box addressed to my dad, the dates on the box say the delivery started in may, it possibly got lost in transit until it eventually got sorted out correctly (again, not the US so the mail system here is slow and weird, packages get lost randomly), mom had opened the box and it was a bunch of Fortnite things, 2 controllers (Peely and FN Festival for Switch), some earphones (Peely), etc. and a Pikachu lamp, basically apparently my dad had bought my Birthday presents back in may but the things got lost in transit and he couldn't actually get them to me.

I just make this post as some way of closing a chapter as I haven't really told anybody about this and I don't want to tell my mom my things about Fortnite, it feels really disrespectful and don't want to anger her, I don't blame the game, I don't blame the company, it just happened when I was playing, it's been a bit more than a month and it still hurts (I'm sorry, I know I'm a crybaby).

I love you dad, I miss you, I'm sorry for failing you.